June 26, 2014

Choosing Bad

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Everything I learned about success, I learned from my hairdryer.

Because if you’ve ever used one before while running too many other electrical appliances at the same time, you know you’ll blow a fuse. Or in a more metaphorical sense, if you put too much energy in too many different places, you’ll eventually burn out. And have wet hair. Often.

Lately, my life is equivalent to running a generator, a vacuum cleaner, a space heater, a desk-top fan, ten computers, and a floor waxer all at once. While charging an electrical car. Which is why I’ve been more absent around here than usual.

I don’t mean to complain about this. It’s more that I’ve finally had a quiet moment to think about it (and I want you to know where I’ve been).

There’s of course the new book, which is due in a matter of days. Tick tock. Then there’s the child, who requires feeding and changing. Loving and lots of reading. Playing, dancing, tantrum-distracting, mayheming, imaginating, outsiding, chasing, strawberry picking, and putting-down-to-sleeping. With a good house cleaning when all is quiet.

There are my mothers, two people who take care of me (and the child) who suddenly need taking care of. First, my mother-in-law, a warrior bravely fighting an unexpected health journey. And then, my own mother. My rock. Who, due to her own “auto-immuneness” combined with “electrical appliance overload,” landed in the hospital as well. A shock to my system.

As for me, there’s unexplained aldasterone levels. Cancelled trips to Mayo. Emergency ER visits. Planned hospital-admittances. A drug challenge. And a few other fun tests ahead. Did I mention the book?

There have been broken ovens. Deadlines. Cups of coffee, multiplied. Doctors visits, to infinity. Sleepless nights. Massive binge TV watching. And a lot of wet hair. There have also been trips to LA. Visits to the zoo. And the aquarium. And the beach. Amazing family moments. Memorable home cooked meals. Walks with friends. A loving husband. And appearances on TV.

Which is why this list is not one of complaints. It’s just a realization: I’m about to blow a fuse.

But that’s not going to happen. Because I choose to be bad.

To make it through so much with so little, a few things had to go–big and small. Shortened workouts; cancelled vacations and weddings; time with friends; regular posts on this blog. Sometimes you have to be ok with not being perfect–and no, I’m not getting into the whole “can you do it all?” discussion. It just simply came down to listening to my hairdryer and unplugging a few things. For a little while. Until the floors get smoothed, the car gets recharged, the computers power to full, and the room cools off.

Once there’s an open plug next week, you can expect me to be back in full swing. With really pretty hair. Until then, thank you for your patience. I just had to be bad at blogging for a bit. And I’ll see you regularly again very soon. (If you want something now, throw some love to today’s post on theKitchn.com).

I hope you choose to be bad at something, sometimes, too.

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